lifesucks..

My life's full of ups and downs nowadays. Well.. mostly downs. Been getting into squabbles with people who are close to me. On retrospect, I don't think I'm at fault. But then again, I may overlooked certain things and be insensitive. Pretty insensitive.

DownNo.1
I seriously don't understand why my close one claimed that I am a VIP. Add to the insult, she actually pointed out why I should be agitated. Shouldn't I enjoy being one? Everyone giving in to me.. And make decisions based on what I want.

Sometimes, we have to look at a bigger picture. I felt so unjustifed (and still is) for a close friend to think that way of me. I may not be perfect. But for her, I'm willing to compromise so that she can enjoy going out with us. With her family and curfews, all of us have to adapt so that she can still spend whatever time she has with us. But with last minute cancelling a three-week-beforehand outing (we plan ahead in case she has other commitments) and insisting of opting out a picnic (which I so look forward because of my hectic schedule) because of a beauty schedule, I just snapped. The latter was not in the list of our outings but why must we always accomodate? I mean.. if you can spend time with us (which you claim that is what we haven't been doing), why not? Beauty schedule is more important than friends?

I am just going to keep quiet about this. Because when I am angry, I become a nasty person. And it's ugly. Life sucks..

DownNo.2
Maybe.. there is something wrong with me. Within that week, I had another squabble with another friend. All because of a chalet. I know you will be reading this. So.. here goes. The three of us do want to spend time with you at your chalet. One of us ends work at 1800. So of course, she will come only after that. I and the other are going for the play. Which both of us had decided and bought the tickets way before you told us about your chalet. But you kept insisting that the chalet's a waste because everbody's coming in very late when you can check in as early as 1400.

I learn that as we grow older, certain things cannot be planned. And in this case, our schedules. To go to your chalet is something that we would like to do. But since there are certain factors make the whole thing imperfect, why don't we just make the best of the situation? Well.. at least you are still talking to me. That is the saving grace.

But lesson learnt? Life sucks..

DownNo.3
My blog has been a place where I wrote for the past two years. And it is comical that a close friend actually just started reading it last Saturday. And called me up and reprimand me about a certain entry that I wrote. And.. you know what is preposterous about the whole thing? The entry was last years!

Gosh.. I can literally pull my hair out! We are still talking but not after some acidic remarks to each other.

Haiz.. again.. life sucks.

DownNo.4
This is so far the worst. Because it is affecting my mood. But I guess, you don't understand. How can you if you have your own life to live?

Haiz..

I just need to reorganise my thoughts.

Life sucks.. Super sucks..

I miss everyone.. :(