My Soliloquy

Helplessness
I abhor thy name
And yet my Unwilling soul
Has to embrace thy presence
And accept thou as part of the game

My Reluctance
Overshadowed
By thy mighty Power
Futility creeps over
To take over my Failing soul

Hope is crushed
Desecrated
Left to rot
In the tomb
of the Forgottens and No-Names

Ides of March

Of dreams and loss..

Et tu, Brutus? Then I fall..

I dreamt about my PAST. Something which has not bothered me for nearly a year. The feeling of loss is still there but not as excruciating as it was a few yars back. I thought my PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE will always interlink. But humans do err. And humans do change. Have I changed?


Skin = Hide?

I had a few encounters which still baffled me till now. And always after that, I woulf feel a tinge of guilt. A tinge only because I would always justified what I did was right and if I were to be the ever-nice person like I was, I would be trampled innocently. Life's cruel but we can avoid the cruelty. If only humans don't put themselves above others.. Things would have worked out, I guess..


My New Baby Princess + 2 Buderigars + Some Fishes

Haahaa.. I have a new addition in the family. Black and small. Just like me! Err.. minus the black part. Real cute.. Plus two budgies!! Real cute.. Plus some fishes (some had found demise a solace compared to staying at their new house. kehkehkeh..).


4 more days to go. Sigh..

Of Ailments and Diseses..

Only the fifth day of March and here I am beseiged by numerous ailment; the uncontrollable hot-then-cold fever, the TB-patient-like cough, the now-you-see-it-now-you-don't wax-caked eyes, the wanna-be-ulcer-infested throat and the I-exist-less-than 24h patchy, red, itchy rashes.

The worst was the former; one minute I was cleaning up my kitchen, fit as a fiddle, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on my sofa, wrapped up in comforter, shivering from an unbearable coldness and yet, my temperature zooming sky high!

But then again, the rashes can be a tough competitor too! I was recovering from the throat infection (which I believe is graciously passed to me by PinkMonkie), so still under medication, I had dinner with PurringFeline, P.H.Y.S.I.C.S and Queen Laneige (PinkMonkie on MC. Heehee..) at Fish & Co. And voila, I started scratching like some mad monkey (pardon me, PinkMonkie) and the next thing I knew when I went to the toilet, my whole face and body were red! Swollen.. patchy.. itchy.. red rashes! Of course I went berserk; I have to meet some biological guardians of my Goonies the next day and I can't afford to look like one disease-infested freak! The three of them were sympathetic, with PurringFeline kept forcing me to drink water to flush out the toxic from my system. I scratched all the way home and when I got home and looked at myself.. shudder! I leave that to you to imagine. But Allah is merciful and the next day when I woke up, the rashes were gone! Except for some which were at my feet. By the time I had strained my voice talking for about more than 2 hours non-stop with these biological guardians, the rashes were gone; the only discomfort was my aching throat, telling its master JUST SHUT UP! I'M STRAINING HERE!!!

Today, I'm still alive and breathing (not even kicking.. sigh..) but I don't know how much more of these ailments I can take. I'm only 29 and yet, these diseases seem to have an affinity with me. I have the highest MC rate so far (5, anybody can beat me at that?) and it's only March. I wonder if it is a sign..