Ogling@Crushes

The people whom I used to ogle and had a crush on. For a simple fact that they look like someone whom I knew.

:)

SelamatHariRayaAidilfitri

I'm at the mosque now, the Aidilfitri prayer had just ended. Now is the Aidilfitri sermon. Can't help feeling melancholic. I used to do the Aidilfitri prayer with a good friend. But now I'm doing it alone. You see, she has gotten herself married. That's why she's with her husband now, not with me.

I used to pray terawih with some good friends too. Unfortunately, once they got hitched, I'm praying alone.

Nothing personal but on reflection, I've always known that I'm not an advocator of change. I like my comfort zone. When I changed my work place a year ago, I actually missed my kids so much that sometimes I cried to sleep because I miss their company. I missed my friends from the old work place so much that I met them almost everyday for dinner. Thankfully, I have gotten over that 'depression' period.

So you can imagine when my friends move on, how affected I was. My friends whom I've known since I was young. But as I aged (yup.. 32 and wiser.. Lol), I learn to accept changes. There're still hiccups along the way. But I'm proud that I can be independent and not to wallow in self-pity.

To these friends of mine, thank you for being there for me in the past. I'm happy for you. And I love you all very much.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! :)

Fighting!

About three more weeks to go before I can sheath away my mighty and trustworthy red pen. Wait.. then again.. there will still be that rigorous marking of free writing, situational writing, cloze passages, comprehensions and summaries. To choose this path as my career, one has to expect this; endlessness.. infinity.. of markings. But then again, I don't regret all that. Well.. slightly. :) But this career certainly has taught me many things - lessons that I won't get to learn if I were not a Chang Cheng Nihm (is that how you spell it)?

I have, over the years of residng at the GOG (make a guess!), make many good friends - friends whom I went holidays with, friends whom I bitch around with, friends whom I always have supper with. I am thankful that I have them because over the years, as one grows older, one tends to lose one's friends.

I am experiencing that now. Initially, it's heart-wrenching but I learn to accept that. In fact, because of that (but not mainly because of that), I am more independent than ever. When things seem to be bleak, I try to find the brighter side of things. Wallowing in my self-pity certainly sap my energy. At 32, you wouldn't want your energy to be sapped. You are at the prime of your life - move on. Life's more blissful and blessful that way.

Having goals also help me a lot. I can see at the end of the day, what I can achieve. I plan to move on after my kids sit for their 'O' Levels. I cannot stay where I am now - I believe I will get burnt out. Not to say that it is a killer place, but if I were to continue working like this for the next 10 years, you would sure see an emanciated me. Plus the bloody pimples.

I've actually learnt a lot in this current place. To my bewilderment, I actually work very well under pressure. The last time I did that was when I was doing my 'A' Levels. Years of hibernation didn't help that much.

Tomorow's Hari Raya. Time to meet my family again. Hopefully, my parents would slack at home first before we go out. Two days of 0800 - 2100 workshop plus fasting had tremendously exhausted me. Think I'm more gifted now.

Fighting!