Specially Dedicated to.. ME.

Sometimes when I'm not hopping maniacally like an Energizer bunny, when I sit down in a corner, alone wth my mental thoughts lock in the dinghy space of my brain, my mind will be plagued by questions 'Why me? Why me?'. In retrospect, I counted how many NA and NT goonies versus EXPRESS goonies I have taught for the past six years. The latter, less than the number of fingers I have in one hand. And the problems from the former, more than the fingers and toes I have (bear in mind I'm not 'unusual'; I have ten fingers and ten toes).

If I put on my positive halo, I always remind myself that I can do it; that's why I'm assigned to these classes. If not, why would I be getting the same kind of classes year after year after year after year after..

If the devil's horns start pushing their way through my thick head, I'm constantly reminded of my 'misfortune'. The voices unlock themselves from the dinghy space and whisper in my ears, "You ain't good enough for the EXPRESS. That's why you get the NA and NT." I will look around and lo behold, these voices speak the truth! Some of my fellow Potters have all the good stuff.. and still complain about their Goonies' performance. Wait till they get mine.. they'll soon look as emanciated as me, hearing voices day in and day out.

Not that I don't love my Goonies. They are fantastic! They made me laugh; made the effort to celebrate my birthday (which I appreciate so much) when some of my friends actually forgot about it; come out with the weirdest cheer; chat with me; treat me as one of their own.. But sad to say, most of them lack ambition (I just want to pass 3 subjects then go ITE. Duh!). Get into trouble almost everyday (the fagging incident was SO UNNECESSARY!). Dubious moral values (kick the LAN points until they broke because it was fun. God.. how dense can that be?). Messed up priorities (I have to work so I can't attend.. Huh?!?!). And the list goes on..

I FAILED miserably. I FAILED miserably as their Home Potter. Attitude reflects leadership. I'll never forget that. Maybe that's why they are not performing, in terms of their academic and attitude. And the voices will continue to haunt me..

*twenty28eight is currently on a 2-day mc. A gentle reminder; she loves white roses*